Day 150

So, perhaps I've been slightly negligent in my postings. I've skipped the last couple years in NY, and the first 7 months or so of my time in the KSA. But here I am, 150ish days straight out here, on top of most of the couple months before that, and I'm going a bit fucking crazy.

Though crazy is nothing new for me, I've always been a bit...well awesome. And with that awesome genetics had to make certain sacrifices, so people tell me, as far as I'm concerned I sweat perfection and crap excellence, you don't even want to know where the Genius comes from, but there are some stains on the sheets you're welcome to examine.

At this point I've assimilated fairly well to my new, not so American, or European, or any fucking place a sane person would live environment. I'm on the couch, in my villa, in my private compound, shielded from the hordes of unruly, unwashed locals. Just another day in the life.

Ramadan started today. If you're unfamiliar, it's a month long Muslim holiday of sorts. During daylight hours there is no drinking (anything), no eating, smoking, sex, basically any indulgence you can add to the many indulgences that are already illegal here. Did I mention Muslim law is THE law here. Which means I will not be allowed to drink (anything), eat, smoke, or have sex during daylight hours either (in public). The sex thing I've got covered...unless it includes masturbation, in which case I'll need one of you to post my obituary in a few days. However, no water? Are they aware it's usually between 42 and 50C degrees here? For you McDonalds eating, hummer driving Americans, that's 107-122F, average. That's fucking HOT. It's really fucking hot. I like water, very much. I like public masturbation even more. This is going to be brutal.

The Resurrection

Do not be afraid. I am The First and The Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever.

Many of you, and I use that term loosely, have probably wondered, cried, spent many a night tossing and turning about my supposed 'absence.' Fear not my feeble minded minions. I am not, and have never been absent in your lives. It was foretold, on the 1,030th day I would return, in the physical sense, and I have. You may rejoice. But you may also know I have always been present in your minds, in your hearts, the hidden webcams in your bathroom...and that pasty face pressed against the glass against your bedroom window that you can never quite catch.

I am every time your loved ones prove you wrong. I am every word you don't understand. I am every joke you don't get. I am the Genius, the constant reminder that you are less than. And in my Genius I give you hope of what you could be, for that you are welcome, it is my gift to you. It is true, my gifts are many, but your hands are small, so I keep most of them to myself. Do not ask questions.

I have traveled the world in my physical time away. I grew weary of the despair and futility my gifts brought upon the people of New York. I look into your eyes and see the recognition of what you will never, can never be, it is my burden to bear. Do not weep for me.

I traveled many, many places. I wandered wearily through the very...friendly...strip clubs of a land known as "Houston." Eventually I made my way to the desserts of the Middle East, and 7 months ago settled in to a friendly liberal area known as "The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia," which for the durations of my posts, and in hopes to avoid any government backlash, I will refer to as "The KSA" in my future posts. Of which there will be many.

Take heart, and take heed my children, for He hath returned.