Don't Sleep Where You...You Know...

Ok, I'm in some serious pain today. I would NOT recommend spending half the night asleep at the computer. No, I would not recommend this at all. Aside from a neck that feels like I've been turning tricks all week (no offense Jess), things are ok.

I got butt hurt by work at the beginning of the year. So that's put a damper on my otherwise thriving sex life^[1]. When not playing palm jockey, I've been trying^[2] to figure out what I'd like to do with my life, because this, is not quite it. Jessica suggested I look into becoming a boner doner. I am looking into it, though not completely sold on the idea. It sounds as if I'd be doing charity, no, not Charity^[3]...charity^[4]. And we all know how I feel about ugly people^[5].







^[1]Not thriving.
^[2] Buying lotto tickets.
^[3]2007 March Playmate of the Month.
^[4]Boning ugly women.
^[5]Worse than the Jews.

Blazer Mania

Portland traded Tyrus Thomas (TT) to Chicago for Lemarcus Aldridge (LMA) a while back. Chicago fans are STILL trying to say they got the better end of the deal. I found this quote below by a Portland fan, I feel he words the best response to the blind retards in Chicago:

"Not all of us are rabid, we just really enjoy the direction our teams heading. Do you enjoy yours? But it's pretty well known that that Paxson, was Pritch Slapped. Don't feel to bad, he's done it to others as well. Also, don't remember one comment from the TNT guys even mentioning TT, that's how well known his game is.I do remember LMA dropping 18 footers...in the 4th quarter...while TT looked on with a fat lip. I also remember seeing the youngest team in the league come into your house, eat some of your food, and take a crap on your front porch."



That's right Chicago bitches, your front porch has been crapped on. Rip City pride.






PS: Kevin Pritchard, is the young savvy GM of the Blazers. He has made several aggressive and successful trades, getting the better end of a few teams, thus fans coining the phrase "you've been Pritch Slapped."

Fast Forward

As I sit here, in my pajama bottoms and home made scarf (you're welcome Catherine, for wearing it) I wonder where to begin. First off, I'd like to offer a 'you're welcome' to Jess, for allowing her to continue to call me and remind me that the world indeed needs more genius. For the rest of you, I am 'you're welcomed' out at the moment, however you may continue to provide me with tithings and I will accept them with a gracious nod.

Shortly after my 'Boner' post, I moved into a new apartment. It was long past time as I had grown tired of my ex-roommates measly 1 porno that I would watch when she wasn't around. I also got tired of being chased every time I went running. I will say, there were some perks to being the only white guy in the neighborhood, I never had to pay for donuts, of which I ate many.

I have found a neighborhood where I am slightly less conspicious. A Jewish neighborhood. As with much of NY, it has been a learning experience, for them, I already know everything. They have learned there are many different types of Jew, some being much more hardcore with their top hats and fancy side burns...always walking. I rent from a non hardcore Jewish family, hm, not sure if 'non hardcore' is the proper term. Either way, they're pretty fantastic and I am enjoying NY much more now that I do not live in fear of the people around me...only the wrath of God for not being one of the Chosen.

That is all.

Living the Genius

Wow. Last post was on Sept 30th?! I owe my fan an apology. I have deprived you of my genius for far too long. I can see you all, running around bumping heads like blind gerbils without my words to guide you, and for that, I am sorry...you should have been born smarter. But you must not give up hope my little less thans, all is not lost. I have been out studying the genius, thinking the genius, living the genius, all to provide you with more, more genius. And so I take my apology back, my long hard time away was done in service to you, and you are welcome. The dippy smile on your drooling faces is thanks enough, but you may also thank me below.