Holy rusted metal Batman! A roller derby!

It takes a monumental event for me to know where I am going to be 15 days ahead of time. I sleep through things, drink through things, workout through things, reschedule, don't schedule, kind of schedule, misschedule, forget, "forget," have car problems, family problems, suffer from cramps, bloating, whims, pregnancy, and even plague. But I know where I will be October 22nd in the year of 2005. Oh I know Sir. I will be at the Portland Expo Center Hall C, watching the Rose City Roller Derby Bout. I will be there; I will not be square.

Not only will it be women, on skates, beating up other women, on skates. That alone would almost gaurantee my attendance. However they went the next level and got it sponsored by PBR. What a wonderous day this will be. The cherry on the cake is, they all look like mega-whores. I've seen fights, girl fights, animal fights, bum fights, I've even seen an elephant fly, but I ain't never seen whores on skates duke it out. Go look at their pictures: www.rosecityrollers.com.

The plan is to meet at a bar, get drunk, take the max out, be as obnoxious as possible, get drunker, and maybe fight some chicks. *Plan is subject to change.

Who's coming with me?