Jacket, I hardly knew ye.

Oh jacket my jacket;
For two years now I have dawned ye
And praised Newport Harbor
That which spawned thee,
Jacket oh jacket lying, lying on my living room floor.
Jacket jacket, why doth thee torment me,
Jacket oh jacket, why doth thee resent me,
Relent relent please
content thee, with my suffering
nevermore.
Unzip unzip thou bastard cloak,
Release thy serpents grip
From around my throat,
Jacket oh jacket, if I could choke
Thee, I would smote thee so.
From the dastardly depths
Of a bastardly hell,
My fair jacket was spawned
By the devil himself,
I took it foolishly
Muleishly
Right off the shelf
Oh what a fool,
I've condemned myself,
In Hades I burn!
Jacket oh jacket I spurn
I spurn thee so!
'Unzip unzip!'
Screams down the river Styx
Clawing, gnawing,
Fighting, biting
Flinching, wincing
Fingernails rip
As I pray I may
I please someday
Fix,
Thou jacket
Yes jacket
You jacket
My jacket
You wicked
You wretched
Bitch.