Bologna-Day!
Damnit I have to start carrying my camera around more. I got the shit slapped out of me on Saturday. I wish we had pictures of it. The first slap wasn't too bad. I responded with a "my grandma slaps harder than that." Which immediately got me another slap. That one hurt a good deal. And I suppose I must have mumbled something, or perhaps awakened some beast in her. Because the unprecedented 3rd slap came flying in quickly...and hit my neck. My fucking neck. Her nails got me good too. Don't get me wrong, this was completely solicited on my part. I told her to do it when I wasn't expecting it. She follows instructions well. I suppose I deserved it for the bruises I gave her way back when. Hmmm, on second thought, nope, I only deserve candy and kisses. I can now check being slapped off my to-do list.
I wish I could check napping off my to-do list for today. But sadly, it will most likely go undone for most of the week. At least I can check 'haircut' and 'eat pizza' off the list. 'Put on underwear' will have to wait until tomorrow.
Sooo everybody got big thanksgiving day plans? Great, that's great.... Me? Oh yeah I've got big plans, big plans. Errr, I was gonna maybe go to Subway, rustle up a turkey sandwich...by myself...sniffle... Maybe if any of you are having an early dinner, you could let me know, I could swing by and rifle through the trash when you're done...I'd appreciate it oh so much...sniffle sniffle. Nah Pat and I are going to do an orphans thanksgiving. It's my first away from all family. My folks are going to Tulsa and my mom feels terribly guilty that she's leaving me to fend for myself...so she calls me all the time to make sure I've made plans...which I haven't really. So I will keep tormenting her. I'll call her thanksgiving day and ask her how to cook bologna so it tastes like turkey. I'll send her pictures of me all bundled up digging through dumpsters...it will be brilliant. And coincidentally enough, there'll be a cherry red Beamer waiting for me under the tree this year. Am I a bad person?
I wish I could check napping off my to-do list for today. But sadly, it will most likely go undone for most of the week. At least I can check 'haircut' and 'eat pizza' off the list. 'Put on underwear' will have to wait until tomorrow.
Sooo everybody got big thanksgiving day plans? Great, that's great.... Me? Oh yeah I've got big plans, big plans. Errr, I was gonna maybe go to Subway, rustle up a turkey sandwich...by myself...sniffle... Maybe if any of you are having an early dinner, you could let me know, I could swing by and rifle through the trash when you're done...I'd appreciate it oh so much...sniffle sniffle. Nah Pat and I are going to do an orphans thanksgiving. It's my first away from all family. My folks are going to Tulsa and my mom feels terribly guilty that she's leaving me to fend for myself...so she calls me all the time to make sure I've made plans...which I haven't really. So I will keep tormenting her. I'll call her thanksgiving day and ask her how to cook bologna so it tastes like turkey. I'll send her pictures of me all bundled up digging through dumpsters...it will be brilliant. And coincidentally enough, there'll be a cherry red Beamer waiting for me under the tree this year. Am I a bad person?
posted by Joe at 3:25 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home