B...b...boner?

A dear sweet female friend of mine asked me an interesting question the other day. “What does it feel like to get a boner?” My initial thought was, in my hands or in my mouth…wait, no, not gay! Slut! Trick question.

I took the rest of the afternoon off to hunt and lift weights, simultaneously. Let’s see a gay man do that. Well, after a few hours I settled down and realized she was actually asking about having a boner, attached, my boner. My hunting buddy Pedro and I had a good chuckle over that one while I drilled his ass behind the pickup.

And to be honest, I didn’t really have an answer. I’ve had mine so long, it’s possible I don’t give it the attention it needs. Oh sure I give him the old low-five every now and then (much more often than now and then), I keep him clean and in good working order. But really, what does it feel like to have a boner?

I didn’t have much of a response. And really I’d say there are different types of boners, and one cannot discount circumstances…a spandex boner is totally different than a jeans boner. Don’t even get me started on sweat pants boners. Oh, and morning wood, ie morning boner…yeah knock knock, who’s there? A Herculean morning boner, that’s who.

This will take some though. A bit of the old ‘research.’ It’s fairly ridiculous I have this massive appendage between my legs and don’t really know what’s going on with it...this arm length godlike python that I treat with casual indifference. I don’t know about you gentleman, I happen to be a man of science. I will find your answers Jessie. No longer will I ignore the dinosauric bulge in my pants. No longer will my boners wilt unloved and unattended. The time of the boner is nigh, and I will ride that boner to success……boner.