Slap me. Harder. Harder damn it!

Yeeeehaw. Time to post! Buuuut...I have nothing interesting to say. I'm in a bit of a quandry here. I have the time, the energy, but no content. I get to work some on Saturday, kind of a trial for the new job. I know, lame. That's how normal things are around here. There's no way things can be this, this...regular. Unacceptable. Things must change. This weekend I will take 3 risks. Doing something out of the ordinary can be a substitute for a risk. After all, people hate leaving their little comfort bubble. Maybe I should try to get slapped. I haven't been slapped since the 4th grade during a kickball argument. I insulted her good. Wait, amend that. I haven't been slapped *by a female* since the 4th grade. I have this vague memory of getting wailed across the face by Keith in a bar recently. I'm pretty sure it was retribution because I slapped the shit outta him earlier. Cocaine is a hell of a drug. Just kidding. We were drunk.

After a little, and I mean very little thought, I came up with (or remembered) some pickup lines that I think might get the job done.

1. Do you have a sister that's not such a prude?
2. What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?
3. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
4. Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
5. Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats five.
6. Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
7. I bet you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
8. Are your parents retarded? Cause you're sure special.
9. Baby, you must be a slut because you give out more ass than a donkey dealership.

And of course the old standby:

10. Backdoor beauty?